Application form
by naw1111
Summary: Whet would Jack say in his application form?
1. Chapter 1

Date: 06/06/2006

Name: O'Neill Jonathan (but never call me that. My friends call me Jack, Carter sometimes calls me sir. You can call me General)

Sex: flat on my back with a gorgeous blond moaning my name at least three times a day when we're in the same Galaxy

Present address: officially in DC. My true home is in Colorado Springs. If you want to be sure to reach me write to Cheyenne Mountain.

Age: who wants to know? Actually age is just a number. You know, once I've been more than eighty years old so I would say that I'm pretty young.

Social security number: none of your business

Phone number: see above

Position applied for: husband of Samantha Carter

Salary desired: you're kidding right? I would pay for it!

Days / hour available for work: 24/7 for the rest of my life

How many hours can you work weekly: depends on which solar system I am

Studies: sorry but I have to keep my dumb act. Come on, I'm a nice guy so will give you a clue. Si Daniel savait combien de langues je sais parler couramment il en tomberait raide.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime: not on earth but on P3X987 I was convicted of walking on the wrong side of the road. Go figure…

Do you have a driver license: of course

What is you mean of transportation to work: depends on the day. Sometimes it's an Asgard transportation beam, sometimes it's a wormhole. It can also be the Dedalus, a F16 or a X3O2

Have you had any accidents during the past three years: yes but most of them weren't my fault. It was either Daniel trying to make new friends or Carter blowing up something, again.

Have you ever been in the armed forces: I told you to call me General. Ring a bell?

Speciality: can't get into too much detail or I would have to shoot you

List the job you held, duties perform: to make it short, saved the world, got rid of the bad guys, made new friends, found new technologies, visited places with lots of trees or lots of sand

Additional information: I would really like to share with you the things we like to do like bonding or spanking but Carter would surely kick my ass. Besides I really don't want to sleep on the couch tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

N/A

I didn't intend to add any chapters to the first one but some of you asked and I aim to please sooo…

Oh and I don't own them dadadada!

XXXXXxxxxxxxxxx

Date: 06/06/2006

Name: Samantha Carter. The Air Force personnel call me Colonel Carter, so does Teal'c. Daniel, my friends and family call me Sam. Jack is the only one allowed to call me Carter. I guess it is a kind of pet name. If you want to call me Carter you deal with him. No, you can't call me Samantha. Not if you want to be able to father a child in the next few years. For crying out loud, it's a girl name. Yeah yeah, I know I'm a girl so what?

Sex: if I have the choice, flat on my back and an exited Jack with his head buried between my legs

Present address: officially in Colorado Springs but you will not find me there. I spend most of my time in Atlantis (easy to find, it's just one wormhole away from earth)

Age: that's not a question you should ask a lady you know. Jack would say I'm far younger than him. Depends how you see it actually. Sometimes he behaves like a five year old and makes me feel far too old. That being said I love this childish side of him.

Social security number: none of your business

Phone number: see above

Position applied for: wife of Jack O'Neill

Salary desired: I never thought about this until the President told me repeatedly how grateful he was I could keep Jack on line. Something about him being unbearable when I'm away for more than a few days. Maybe I should ask… a lot!

Days / hour available for work: 24/7 for the rest of my life

How many hours can you work weekly: depends on which solar system I am

Studies: there isn't enough space on the form to list them all. Let's say that I did okay

Have you ever been convicted of a crime: quite often when off world. A lot of societies didn't take very well that a woman was travelling without being chaperoned by her husband or father. I'm still mad as hell when I think about all the times I had to deal with these patriarchal societies

Do you have a driver license: of course

What is you mean of transportation to work: depends on the day. Sometimes it's an Asgard transportation beam, sometimes it's a wormhole. It can also be the Dedalus, a F16 or a X3O2. My preferred though is my India

Have you had any accidents during the past three years: Jack would say so but don't believe him. I blow up things that need to be blown up or that I want to.

Have you ever been in the armed forces: If you were paying attention to what I say rather than to my breasts you would know that one

Speciality: blowing things up and rewriting the laws of physics

List the job you held, duties perform: to make it short, saved the world, got rid of the bad guys, made new friends, visited places with amazing technologies

Additional information: well nothing really without telling you anything private. Why do you smirk? Has Jack said anything? I know he has… He is so sleeping on the couch tonight


	3. Chapter 3

Date: 15/06/2006

Name: Daniel Jackson. Some people call me Doctor Jackson but it makes me feel old. Jack likes to call me space monkey or Danny boy. He finds it funny. I let him…if it makes him happy!

Sex: well that's obvious isn't it? I'm a man whatever Jack has been saying in his form.

Present address: Colorado Springs. But my true home is on Abydos.

Age: much younger than what I feel

Social security number: none of your business

Phone number: see above

Position applied for: best man of Jack O'Neill. Well that is if he doesn't break my neck before. Why? Ask Teal'c!

Salary desired: I thought I was the one supposed to make a present but if you really want to give me a salary that's fine with me

Days / hour available for work: 24/7, it was about time

How many hours can you work weekly: 168

Studies: I speak almost every single language you will find on earth and I'm an archaeologist

Have you ever been convicted of a crime: funny question. Usually it's Jack who gets into trouble

Do you have a driver license: yes, I do have a driving license

What is you mean of transportation to work: depends on the day. Sometimes it's an Asgard transportation beam, sometimes it's a wormhole. It can also be the Dedalus. When I'm an ascended being it's more like being everywhere at once.

Have you had any accidents during the past three years: I have to admit I'm prone to accidents. Some people say I'm clumsy. Actually I just don't always pay attention to what's happening around me.

Have you ever been in the armed forces: never. However, I'm quite good now with a gun.

Speciality: translations and identifying artefacts. Could you underline it please? Artefacts, not rocks.

List the job you held, duties perform: I've been giving lectures and now I work with SG1. It's really amazing you know. We met so many cultures issued from earth. And most of the time their evolution has been almost the same as on earth. I remember when we went on P3X56… oh, you're not interested in the details? Sorry!

Additional information: if you meet Jack could you avoid telling him where I am. He's still pissed at me, so is Sam and I would like to live long enough to see them married at last. No, I won't give you the details of what happened. Ask Teal'c! Nobody will dare harming him.


	4. Chapter 4

Date: 15/06/2006

Name: Jacob Carter. Mark, Sam and Jack call me "Dad", always did, they are the only ones who are allowed to do so. You can call me General Carter.

[Eyes glowing – change of voice]

My name is Selmak

Sex: funny that you ask. Obviously I'm a man but… I've also got a feminine side…just ask Selmak! Oh yes I am Selmak…sorry. Otherwise not for a long time... I never liked to do it on the beach and it seems there is sand wherever I go. Besides, it's difficult when there are two persons in one body and even more when you're sharing your body with a woman. We never seem to agree about who we like. I will just give you an example… Selmak seems to have a crush on George… Yes, George Hammond! And she is sharing all her thoughts about him...arghh. So no, no sex anymore.

[Eyes glowing – change of voice]

Oh yes I like it…a lot. Jacob doesn't seem to agree on my choice of partners. What a shame! Just between you and me, he has a crush on Janet Frasier.

Present address: I'm moving a lot you know. Right now I'm leaving under a desert. If you need to call me ask Sammie to send me a message.

Age: you shouldn't ask this kind of question. Selmak is a wise lady. It's all you need to know about her. As far as I'm concerned I feel pretty young compared to her.

Social security number: I don't have one any more

Phone number: see above

Position applied for: I'm here to give my daughter away to Jack.

Salary desired: none. But be assured that if Jack hurts my Sammie, he's going to need to run fast…very fast

Days / hour available for work: 24/7, it was about time

[Eyes glowing – change of voice]

I agree with this statement!

How many hours can you work weekly: as much as is needed.

Studies: the usual you know, Air Force Academy. Selmak has been studying a lot the last 384 years but I can't give you too much details, it would take too much time

Have you ever been convicted of a crime: me? Never! Selmak? Pretty often!

Do you have a driver license: yes, I do have a driving license

What is you mean of transportation to work: mostly the Stargate and sometimes a Teltak

Have you had any accidents during the past three years: more than I should have…thanks to Selmak

Have you ever been in the armed forces: does Air Force Academy ring a bell to you?

Speciality: there are too many to tell but the main one is that I'm the link between Earth and the Tokra

[Eyes glowing – change of voice]

Most of the times our assignments are pretty confidential…and dangerous as well.

List the job you held, duties perform: Just remember me again…why are you asking me all these questions?

Additional information: so you know where Daniel is? I really need to have a few words with him, something to do about privacy.

[Eyes glowing – change of voice]

Oh yes, I have a few things to tell him as well


End file.
